Candice's Essay
Candice went from not turning in any second quarter essay to completing this third quarter essay one week late. I praised her paper for attempting analysis rather than plot summary, something we had spent class time discussing. I also complemented her system of paragraph organization which was different from any of her classmates and therefore evidence of original thought. As for her weaknesses, I chose to point out one on a language level and one on a rhetorical level. She made frequent use of run-ons despite us having spent class time discussing this. She also failed to use quotations or effective paraphrasing to strengthen the analyses she was attempting. This lack of evidence, along with a vague thesis makes for a weak rhetorical argument. We spent a few minutes looking at how to fix example run-on sentences and what details she might have included to strengthen her argument.